NASHUA, NH – In October 2022, The Arlington Street Community Center and the Public Health Department came together to address a need among fathers in the community.
“We saw a lot of family support, but most of them were led by mothers and dads were invited,” said Robert Ortiz, bilingual medical assistant for the community health department. “We decided that a fatherhood support group would be beneficial to the Nashua community and surrounding towns.”
Over the past 22 months, 18 sessions have been held, in which more than 65 father figures and mothers have attended. Sessions are held on the second Tuesday of each month, and are open to everyone from fathers, grandfathers, fathers-to-be, and their families.
The group strives to promote a whole family approach where both parents are able to parent together.
“We really want to encourage fathers to be involved to work on healthy relationships,” Ortiz said.
“Men have been really implemented to be rigid, to not show emotion, [that] men can’t cry,” he added. “We’re trying to show dads, [and] encourage and empower dads, that it’s okay to be nurturing, it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be open with your family.”
Discussions center around a variety of topics and skill sets, such as co-parenting, family law, and financial literacy.
“Society kind of puts an assignment [on] men [that] men are supposed to be the breadwinner,” said Ebram Aziz, public health nurse for the community health department. “As long as [he’s] providing food and water and shelter, he’s doing a great job.”
This is the idea of fatherhood Ortiz had when his first child was born five years ago.
“I told my wife that I need to get a second job. I need to provide for this family, so she took the brunt of parenting,” he said. “About eight months passed, and she actually told me, ‘look, I know that you’re out there working, but right now, I really need your help.’”
This encouraged Ortiz to be there for his children in a more nurturing way.
“Throughout that experience of me changing up the way I looked at it [and] my perspective, I was able to bond more with my child,” he said. “I was able to show him more love. I was able to actually understand what he liked [and] what he didn’t like.”
Ortiz said the Fatherhood Support Group has been an amazing journey that they plan to continue and grow over time as they continue to build more partnerships, recently having partnered with Nashua PAL.
The next session is on September 10 at the Arlington Street Community Center (36 Arlington Street in Nashua) and will focus on parental stress.
“Men don’t really speak their emotions, but what we found is that they just haven’t been given the time with a safe space to do so.” Aziz said.
“I think it’s such a beautiful thing,” Ortiz added. “We have to keep working at it and keep strengthening the families and these communities to know that it’s okay to ask for help.”
